Anyway...we practice for a few hours this morning, then have the ceremony in the late afternoon. While we practice, I give a little speech. And here's what I say:
Promotion or graduation
speeches typically pursue one of two themes—follow your dreams, or you can
change the world. Or perhaps a
combination of the two—if you follow your dreams, you can change the world.
I want to say a word—714
actually—to all of you about something much more important—your character.
Historically, when people
thought about how to live a good life, philosophized about how to live rightly,
they emphasized character traits—honor,
humility, integrity, thoughtful regard for others, and so on. These are things one can cultivate, by
choice. You can choose honorable or
dishonorable actions. You can choose to
express humility or arrogance…it’s up to you.
In other words, the decision to be a person of good character is yours
to make, not somebody else’s. And nobody
can take those character qualities from you….You can GIVE them away, or
SQUANDER them, but nobody can take them from you.
About a 100 years
ago—around the beginning of the 20th Century, the focus on how to
live rightly and well shifted from character to personality. And people seeking to live a good life began
trying to align the qualities of their personalities with the situation they
found themselves in. How can my
expressiveness fit best in this situation?
How do I overcome my shyness so I can be a vibrant member of this
group? And this fateful question—How
will every around me deal with my sense of humor—which all too often means my
very self-oriented sarcasm? The
questions of living well shifted from how to live properly with and for the
people around me to the issues of how to make my personality fit comfortably in
my environment, or better yet, how to bend or shape that environment so as to
satisfy my own personality desires.
In the intervening 100
years, we’ve come to value personality—having a good personality, being a
personality, being “yourself”—as just about the highest moral goal you can
pursue.
But you’ll find the
personality is always yearning, seeking after its pleasures and desires, because
we’re always wanting something new and interesting, and because the
circumstances around us are always changing.
The harsh reality of seeking to satisfy the personality’s whims is that
you and your personality become subject to forces outside your control or
authority. When friends drift from you,
or significant others disappoint you, or colleagues frustrate you, or bosses
impose upon you, your personality will have to cope in order to remain happy or fulfilled or committed. You’ll have to readjust your personality
needs to the changing circumstances, and the circumstances will be in charge…of
you.
But if you cultivate a
strong character—and be clear, everything you do is always cultivating a
character…good or bad, strong or weak, selfish or selfless—I say, if you
cultivate a strong character, your circumstances will not overmaster you. Instead, since you—and you alone—have
authority over whether you will be honest or not, thoughtful or not, patient or
not, you can—with good choices—maintain your integrity, your character in spite
of the changing situations.
You can, as the saying
goes—keep your head while others about you are losing theirs. While others around you might lie and
deceive, your honesty can remain intact.
While others might seek credit and glory, your humility can stand
uncompromised. While others might
manipulate people around them, your selflessness can remain consistent…
…if you so choose.
In this way, good
character—doing what is right—is actually quite liberating. You’re not dependent on what is happening
around you. If you choose honesty,
patience, humility, etc., then you know what to do in all circumstances…you
don’t have to figure out how best to “play” your situation.
But if you want to live
as a “personality”—to be funny, or the life of the party, or to be the force
shaping everything around you, get ready to compete with other personalities
who are either seeking their own attention or trying to shape your shared
circumstances to best fit their particular personality needs…jostling and
bouncing your personality and its needs along the way.
So, you’ve got a
choice—seek to satisfy your own particular desires in an ever-shifting and
often competitive social environment and be one of millions of personalities,
or be what is—unfortunately—more like one in a million, and cultivate good
character.
This choice has deep and
serious consequences.
Choose well.
